36-26-37

It's one of the first cold days this fall and I have goosebumps on my arms. Not only because I'm a bit chilly but also because I'm about to whip off my shirt so that I can get my measurements taken for a bridesmaid dress.  Those of you that know me know that I take my shirt off all the time at the gym.  I do it because it makes me feel powerful and proud of my muscles(and also because I'm not a fan of sweaty shirts).  This is different though.  In fact, I am dreading the feeling of the tape measure against my skin and seeing the numbers- bust, waist, hips- written down on paper.  I find myself having to concentrate on not sucking in because it used to be like second nature to me.

I keep telling myself that numbers don't matter unless they represent weight being lifted at the gym. I promised myself I wouldn't step on a scale or take my measurements because they were no longer important.  However, I suppose that sometimes(like when ordering a bridesmaid dress) you need to.  Before I have a chance to put my shirt back on I hastily grab at the paper worried that someone else will see my measurements before me.  As soon as the paper is in my hands I, almost instinctively, start to analyze the numbers.  My eyes focus on the waist measurement- 26inches? All I can remember is measuring myself before my wedding almost 2 years ago and having a 24inch waist.  Frantically I look at Michael and ask him how it is possible that my waist has grown (the wheels already spinning in my head with ideas about how I can get it to go back down in size).  He laughs and points out the fact that if I didn't have ab muscles that it would probably be smaller.  Suddenly the wheels stop turning and I snap out of what I will refer to as 'skinny vision.'   What does he mean no muscles? I've worked hard for this body! I love catching a glimpse of my muscles in the mirror, being able to throw heavy weight over my head and hoist my body up a 20ft rope.  You see it all over the crossfit community - "strong is the new skinny."  While I know now that statement is true for me personally I'm not so sure it is has become mainstream...yet(give it time)!

There have been numerous blog posts written by female crossfitters about body image. In fact, it is something I have written about in the past more than a few times.  In part the reason for that is because so much of our culture as females revolves around it. What is ironic is that we do it to ourselves. If you can believe it I was once part of a group that sat for an hour at dinner discussing body parts we weren't happy with.  By the time we were done I didn't even want to eat my salad. I look back on that now and think ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

While being image conscious isn't necessarily a bad thing the image that is currently being put forward as 'ideal' is not good. I am a firm believer though that with every CrossFit affiliate that opens and every company that chooses a female athlete to be their spokesperson that image is changing.  The below Nike Ad made the rounds about a year ago, but it is actually from 2005.  For some reason it still hasn't caught on which is why I thought it was worth bringing back for a peak.  My butt is big(37 inches big in fact), so are my shoulders, and my lats.....and I am proud of them. 

I've said it before...

...and I'll say it again- what a difference a year makes.
A year ago I was in Saskatoon competing in a competition hosted by Synergy Strength & Conditioning. It was my first CrossFit Competition and I was in the Intermediate division.  Throughout the competition I watched the athletes in the 'advanced' division and at the end of the weekend made the decision that I was going to train hard so I would be able to compete alongside them the following year. And so..there I was...competing this weekend at the Bridge City Beatdown in the 'Beasts' division.

I have had a variety of emotions sweep over me in the day or two following the competition. Originally I was upset with my performance. There were numerous points where my mental game just wasn't present(prowler push) and silly mistakes and technique problems(missing a 141# jerk twice because of bad technique). However, after my initial frustration wore off I realized I should be happy with how things went and more importantly with how far I've come as a CrossFit athlete.

The best part of the weekend was the chance to feel like a part of a community again.  First, I got to join up with the athletes from CFW and I realized just how much I missed them.  On a bigger scale though I also got to meet and compete against a lot of awesome athletes from the prairies.  I always find it amazing how much the CrossFit Community comes together at competitions-how you hear and see athletes on the sidelines cheering for their fellow competitors-it is unbelievable to be a part of it.
(On a side note: The judges were also AWESOME!! Cheering for you, yelling at you to pick up the bar and congratulating you after you were done. A serious amount of thanks is owed to them)

Of course I'll use a little bit of that original disappointment I felt to fuel my training for the next month leading up to the Big Dawgs Bash in San Diego next month. After that (besides sectionals and hopefully regionals next year) I plan to be back in Saskatoon, schedule permitting, again next year.

Below are two pictures. One from Saskatoon last year(left) and one from this year(right).

Random thoughts

1.  Progenex Recovery-Tropical Vanilla is awesome!

2.  My next competition is only 5 days away. WOD's are released today. Yay!

3.  So, I hear that you are supposed to do one thing every day that scares you? Well, today I am doing 8 20ft legless rope climbs.

4.  When looking at my shoe collection I realize that I now own 5 pairs of CF shoes.  In fact for the last 6 months the only new shoes I have bought have been shoes for CF.  It is crazy how much my life has changed.

5.  When getting a new license the lady asked me for my weight. I proudly looked at her and said 138 a number I would have cringed about a year ago(when I was practically starving myself to maintain 120lb).  Now I am happier, healthier, and get way more compliments(don't judge..I like getting compliments).

6.  I need to find a job. However, I refuse to just settle for something. Life is too short to work somewhere just for the sake of making money.